It was one of those days...

One hour into our day it started.

The hitting, biting, the throwing of toys.

The pushing, the shoving, the screaming.

It was not a day I wanted to be a part of.

It was not one of my finer moments in parenting.

M was in his room twice today.

After the second time I vowed to give all of us some space.

So I did what I don't normally do and let him play on a different floor than J and myself for a good portion of the afternoon.

It was slightly peaceful, but M was still tired, and cranky, possessive and unkind, that it still made the afternoon difficult.

I tried for 4 hours to get him outside for a walk, but he was having none of it, Until 1 hour before dinner.

Of course.

So out we went for a walk around the block.

The sun was just setting and both of them looked so stinkin' cute waddling in their heavy snowsuits.

The air did all of us some good.

Until bedtime...

Then it all went to the pooper again.

M is going through some sort of  Idontwanttogotobedrightnow phase.

Paired with MommyMommyMommyyoumustliebesidemewhileItrytosleep phase.

Every. Night.

I'm tired of the drama at bedtime.

The scolding at bedtime.

The raised voice at bedtime.

The complete frustration at bedtime.

Tired.


As I lay there with him watching him fall asleep tonight I wondered about a few dozen things.

Is he scared?

Does he know I love him to the moon and back?

Is he trying to one up me?

Is this a power/control issue?

What the beep am I doing wrong?

Giving in?

Loving him to much?

Not enough?

Not spending enough time with him?

Spending too much time with him?

I was a Mother I didn't want to be today.

The mother that scolded to much, raised her voice to much.

I made a conscious decision to let technology go today with a few minor updates here and there.

I didn't craft,

I didn't shower,

I didn't do dishes.

I didn't make dinner, and opted for leftovers paired with nuggets and fries.

I tried to be present.

I just don't think I did a very good job of it today.

Some childrens parents...

Let me start off by saying I am not trying to stir the pot, only trying to put my feelings out there into cyber-land.

If you read yesterdays post you may know that M and I got off to a bad start, which resulted in some discipline on our street.

I was not proud of the swat on the bum, especially when you are trying to teach a young person to be kind to others.

Yesterday though I felt like I had explored all my options in the 10 minutes that we were engaged in a battle of the wills.

Here is the thing;

I'm not afraid to discipline my child, in public or otherwise.

I was disciplined as a child, and I won't go into the details of my Fathers military like discipline measures, but suffice to say that they were somewhat cruel and unusual.

I will never, ever while I am on the face of this earth do anything that extreme to my child.

But a swat on a bum?

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The reason that I bring this up is this;

Today while playing at the local water park, in all of five minutes I was annoyed  by the behavior of some of the kids that should know better, and more so of the adults who blatantly stood by and watched their children push and shove their way through the water.

The kid that tried to push my 14 month old and looked up at me to see if I was watching?

I wanted to do more than spank his bum.

His mother that stood there and watched him do it?

Well I wanted to do a little more than that.

After 4 issues with pushing, shoving, hitting in 20 minutes I hightailed it out of there.

Am I being to harsh?  Overprotective of my kids?

Maybe.

But here is a thought.

Why is it that there are so many insolent little kids/teenagers and young adults out there today?

Why are they so mean?  Rude?  Ignorant?

Is it because their parent didn't show them the way and discipline them when necessary?

Did they give them the toy they wanted in order to squash the temper tantrum?

Did they feel that their parents were so strict and harsh in their punishments that they vowed never to be like them and as a result are raising bullies?

BLAH!!!!

Heavy topic for tonight.

One that I am not necessarily looking for answers on.

Because I know we are not all perfect and that is what makes this great big world of ours spin.

I just wanted to vent.

Nighty Night.

Calling a spade a spade

Have you ever been in a situation where someone made a comment about you, your husband, your child or a friend that was subtle in design but was so obvious to you that it could have been an elephant standing in the room?


I feel like I am on the receiving end of those comments more often than I would like to be and I don't get it.

Maybe I have "walk all over me" written on my forehead.

Or maybe it is that I am so easy to read that the person that so graciously extended the comment knew I wouldn't respond.

Boy, are they wrong if they don't think I respond because if they had a ticket to the sold out show inside my mind would they be surprised.

I can unleash a world of misery without even opening my mouth.

Which is why I don't; I don't trust the words that may come cascading from my tongue.

History tells me that they are going to hurt.

And I am a huge believer in picking my battles, being the bigger person, leading by example...blah, blah, blah.

I don't always want to be that person; I want to tell someone who overstepped their boundaries of our "friendship" that they have done just that.

But how?

I don't struggle with this in my professional life, and that may be because I don't have a choice.

When you lead people you need to make your expectations clear from day one.

"At no point in our friendship will it be acceptable to make subtly snide comments about my child butting in line. Should you make an observation of this occurrence, please redirect him to myself and I will follow up on his behavior. "

When people fail, or become misguided, you probe, use self discovery, coach, redirect, get commitments, follow up...I could go on and on.

Should I be doing that in my personal life?

Do I need to interview people to make sure they are suitable candidates for my friendship?

Do I just need to "cut them out" as Phoebe likes to say, if they are not holding up their end of the friendship?

I'm not good at calling people out on their BS even though my radar is tuned into their BS frequency.

There has to be some sort of middle ground for me and I am struggling to find it.

And for the record....he butted in line, he's not "a really, really fast runner." 

That is why he went ahead of your child on the slide. 

Because he butted in line. 

And yes I saw it, however if you would have given me the 10 seconds to respond, I would have been able to address the issue with him directly.


So in the future, please try to parent your own child and let me parent mine.