Monday, November 21, 2011

I'm not Rosemary's Granddaughter.
In fact, I have no idea who Rosemary even is.
I do know who I am, and today I was smacked in the face with gratitude for being me.

I have written posts before about my upbringing, I don't need to go there again.
But I do want to go to a darker place, just in case I need a reminder  on a less than stellar day.

I recently met someone who touched my soul in a way very few people do.
My very first impression of her wasn't great.  It wasn't bad but  I wasn't blown away or in awe or her like I am by some people I meet.  Her hand shake was limp, and her voice was soft.  To be honest, I often sum up  person my their hand shake.  Strike one for me.

For what ever reason; fate, karma, a lesson to be learned, this person was able to get past that first impression and on our third meeting confided something in me that wasn't necessarily  ordinary, and sadly more prevalent than one would think,  but I was surprised non the less.  I remember thinking that it was odd that she would tell me a secret when she hardly knew me, but when I meet someone I'm comfortable with I have been known to share.

Today she showed up into my life again with her child in her arms and her eyes full of tears.  Frustration that daycare wouldn't accept her son that day because he had a cold was the last thing she needed to worry about.

Imagine coming from a war torn country, living in a room no bigger than a storage room, living in fear every single day of your life.  Imagine trying to raise a baby in that sort of chaos, a husband that was not there and wouldn't be there for 12 years, only to make his way back into your life to take advantage of you.  Imagine not sending your son to school because you didn't have a decent lunch for him, living in a hotel that you didn't really know was trash but had no other place to stay because the house you just bought was being renovated and the contractor took you for a ride.  Imagine the worst crap that you could possibly imagine and then thank your lucky stars that you are not living that life.

I gave this women a ride today to that crappy hotel, with her little son, because she was going to take a cab and I didn't want her to.  Her Son needed to be in a car seat, not in a cab or waiting for a bus in subzero temperatures.  A teeny, tiny gesture.  One that was met with such gratitude that it made me thankful for all I have.

There are times in this life of mine where I am easily frustrated when things don't go as planned; kids not eating their fruits and veggies, not going to bed on time, daddy not helping me as much as I need or want him to, a perfectly furnished house, time to sleep, time to scrap, TIME.

I walked in my house today and was thankful to be there, thankful that my babies were mine and that they were loving little boys.  Yes we have our issues but they are mine and I love them.  I met Hubs at the door and told him I was thankful for this life.  He knew something happened to spark my announcement and asked me about it.  I was thankful for that and for the hugs that followed.   I held J tonight while he fell asleep, just because I could, just to be able to smell his hair and stroke his soft little cheeks.  Who the heck cares that Project Big Boy isn't progressing.  He is healthy and happy and that is all that matters.  I  was thankful to just sit on the couch and watch a movie with M.  He played a little longer, we cuddled a little longer, we giggled a little longer.  Who cares that he didn't get to bed on time and wouldn't stay in bed.  I was thankful for that extra bit of time.

I am absolutely certain that this woman is not looking for charity or pity.  I think she just needed to unload some emotional baggage today and I happened to be put on the path that she was on.  And while I am not overly religious,  I do believe that our paths are scripted.   Today I was meant to be there to help her in the tiniest way possibly.

I am far from perfect, but my life?  I'll take it each and ever day.

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