Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Patience

It is not one of my virtues.

For years at every job interview when asked what my biggest opportunity for growth was it was always the same answer.

At every performance review.........the same answer.

And I have gotten better. I swear I have.

I can't help it if I wear my heart on my sleeve and my face gives all my feelings away.

It doesn't mean that I am not in control.

I wouldn't have gotten as far as I have if I weren't in control.

It just means I'm passionate.

SURE.

And now when faced with the hardest job of my life I'm overwhelmed by having to practice this "skill".

Especially today.

It was instantaneous I swear.

You turned two and all hell broke loose.

Three tantrums the day before your birthday.

Three on your birthday.

Two the day after your birthday.

And three today. It is not even 4:00pm btw.

Serenity now....serenity now.

Am I going to be able to deal with this?

I don't think pulling rank is going to work.

I hate being hit and kicked......pretty sure your baby brother isn't into it as well.

I can't even figure out what the problem is for some of these tantrums.

You literally woke up screaming from your nap, which was over 3 hours long, and didn't stop for 30 minutes.

Distraction didn't work.

Ignoring it didn't work.

Gentle scolding didn't work.

And losing my temper only made me feel like a bag of crap.

Does anything work?

And why is it that over the past 4 days I see 2 year old angels everywhere, holding their mummy's hands and leaving parks without a scene?

Why is it that these tempers aren't for Grandma or Daddy?

WHY ME????

God please grant me the patience to get through this year.

Please let me be a good mom.

Please let me teach you patience.

Please let me lead by example and show you the right way.

Please and Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Jen, I SOOOO hear you. Seriously, I could've written this post myself. The tantrums are frustrating and make ME want to cry as much as HER! Audrey still has big tantrums after a long nap. The only thing I found sometimes helped was a favourite tv show. It wasn't a bribe, it was something to calm her down and break the cycle of screaming.

    I am always saying to myself-- PATIENCE! PATIENCE! Tomorrow I will be more patient... etc. It's so hard. You are not alone, and, really, there's not much you can do. He will grow out of it. Promise. *hugs*

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